Throughout history no other question has puzzled the brain of humans as much as the origin of the universe did. No matter how far back or forward you go, people have sought the answer to this question everywhere they could, coming up with a variety of stories and beliefs that reflect the culture of those people.
Here at the Temple we are no different, we also have asked ourselves who or what brought us here, and why. The answer to us was fairly simple: cosmic deer.
Deer have been used as symbolic and religious figures since the dawn of time, their beauty captivating every civilization to the point where many people worshipped them, in every continent.
It stands to reason that all these people couldn't possibly be wrong about deer being gods, who are we to reject such notions? Have you seen how cute they are? If there are gods, they look like deer. They're not the same ones we see every day though, they inhabit space and observe the progress of their species and humans from above, intervening when necessary.
Much like mankind thought their gods created humanity in their own image, the Cosmic Deer created their chosen species in theirs. We are nothing but a side effect of the great event of Creation by the hooves of these powerful creatures, and our natural role is to serve and worship our creators' descendents and make sure their great plans are achieved.
Humans were in fact created as work horses for deer society, taking care of science and experimentation to bring progress forward while the deer could relax and eat all the grass they like. What kind of science could you make with those hooves anyway?
I know it will be shocking to read due to the quality of these images, but these are not real photos of the cosmic deer. These are artistic recreations made with the approval of our lord Mio, who seemed more interested in emptying our cupboards than listening but he gave the OK anyway.
The Space Moo Moos
Deer aren't the only animals ruling over the universe from outer space, cows make up a good chunk of the Holy Ungulate Pantheon too. It's said they can be occasionally spotted on Earth floating away after stealing a bag of cocaine or heroin from passed out junkies, because they seem particularly fond of drugs.
Of all the holy cows we know of, Polish Cow is definitely the most powerful. The legend says he's in control of planet Earth's entire drug market. Born a mortal cow, the insane amount of drugs he ended up consuming over the years to dull the pain of existence made him trascend the mortal plane, allowing him to make a pact with the Cosmic Deer and becoming one of their most loyal lieutenants. You don't want to fuck with this gangster.
